One Year - Remembering Thom

I decided after my brother's funeral that I would post the eulogy I delivered on his anniversary.  Tomorrow will be one year since Thom left the cancer stricken form he carried here below and received a new and healthy heavenly body.

July, 26, 2012 -
I am speaking for both me and Kat today.  When we began planning for this service we wanted to accomplish three things:  We wanted to glorify God as His grace is still sufficient, to honor our brother Thom, and to thank all of you for loving our brother.
The reason we played the song "If I Can Dream" is because it was one of Thom's favorites.  Neither Kat or I can listen to it without smiling - Thom would stand in the middle of the living room, crank it up and sing at the top of his lungs complete with air mic, hip shakes and arm rolls just like Elvis.

Some of you asked why Thom cut his hair.  You know as humans we can be quick to judge eachother by outward appearance but God is faithful and looks upon the heart.  Thom didn't have an employer who provided health insurance and so when he went to the hospital with his long hair and beard he felt like he was looked upon as a drug addict and ne'r do well.  So he had his friend Trina cut his hair and trim his beard so that the people so quick to judge might understand that he was there for pain management not drugs.
That is a lesson we can all take away - you really can't accurately judge a person by the body they wear as they walk around on this earth.  It's not until you know their heart that you can know the man.  Thom was NOT a drug addict and he was NOT a drunkard - he was more like a M&M.  He had a hard cantankerous shell that protected a soft giant loving heart.

When Tommy was four years old he started kindergarten.  That Christmas Daddy took us on the train to shop in Chicago.  We were to each pick a present for Mommy - Tommy chose a baby doll.  On Christmas morning he explained that the baby doll was so that Mommy would not be lonely anymore while he was away at kindergarten.

As  an adult Thom would take what he called a "me day" every once in a while.  He would call into work and then spend the day with Kat.  Sometimes it was to take her to the doctor and sometimes it was just to head to Huntsville and spend the day together.

Thom was fourteen when I graduated highschool and left town so to me he is still my baby brother.  But Kat grew up with Thom and has watched as he grew from the little brother to more like an older brother and then as an adult he became her best friend.  Kat is stronger than she knows; she will make it but when you think of Thom every once in awhile I would appreciate it if you gave Kat a call.

God's grace allowed me time during the last three months to connect with Thom and Kat and our family in a way that can't be accomplished by a weekend visit every once in awhile.  For this I am thankful.  Thom not only looks like our dad but became a man like our dad too.  Thom has reached out to some of the young guys in the family like older men from our church family did for him.

Now it might not have always come across as encouragement because if Thom liked you he was going to give you a hard time and if you weren't getting his message he might get down right cantankerous but he loved you and believed in you and wanted all you guys to be your best.  He will be missed by the men who were more than friends;  you were all his brothers and you know he loved you.

We are thankful for the love and care received from our extended family; Thom got down right spoiled with all of the dumplings, pot pies, soups and treats.  One thing I am learning is that in the end it doesn't matter what earthly goods you have but how you loved that matters most.  All of you have proved that Thom loved well and was loved well by all of you.

Thomas Richard Metcalf  [November 1, 1967 - July 23, 2012]

The First Rain of Spring

I have been waiting all day for the rain to start.  It should have been here much earlier according to the forecast.  Just as the first few drops began to fall I discovered to my delight that this would be the first rain of Spring.

Not that Spring didn't officially arrive on March 21st, but here in the south the cool winter air has lingered longer than it should.  We have had rain, plenty of it actually, but it was winter rain, chilly, wet and without any smell.  You can smell a Spring rain; it smells green and wet and earthy.  Summer rain smells parched and hot and thirsty and in the south it often seems just a few degrees away from boiling water.

This is a new Spring for me.  It is the first one without my brother, Thom.  In April I will remember how that last year we were learning he had advanced stage four cancer.  And through May, June until July 23rd I will remember the heart wrenching and bittersweet weeks we spent together; the three of us, me, Thom & Kat, as we prepared for the unpreparable and depended heavily upon The Lord for strength and grace and the will to do well and carry on.

Thom has been in heaven eight months now; eight months cancer free and living large.  Kat & I carry on.  Today's rain was special.  Like the first few yellow gallons of rain water from the down spout cleared the pollen from my roof; the first rain of Spring washes away the winter from my soul and prepares me for the Spring that will surely come with warmth and blossoms and new growth.  All nature leading by example that it is possible and right and time to do well and carry on.